1. |
It's Been Awhile
03:09
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Sometimes I look in the mirror, to see what I've become.
But there person starring back at me is just a boy with a loaded gun.
I wanna blast out my eardrums along with my insecurities.
Blow out all my demons, and have music put back the pieces.
It's been awhile since I've seen your face.
It's been awhile I feel out of place.
It's been awhile I've drifted far away.
It's been awhile, yea it's been awhile.
The sun births new light but I'm scared I might coexist in my life.
But it's mine I deserve my own time, showing critical signs that ill survive
The beat of my heart races as my hands go from still to shaking.
Spiraling down from my own nature
I don't know how long till I am breaking.
Why must we, come from dark just to see the light?
Why cant we, take our own advice?
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2. |
Live Out Loud
03:32
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Hit me, punch me, pass me along.
In the middle where I don't belong.
I've come so far from home, to live my life out loud.
Watching you watch me.
Listen to these thoughts that I need to scream.
I yell my life out loud, wonder if you hear me.
It's worth the fight if it changes our lives.
It's worth the fall to know we gave it our all.
Stay with me through the night.
Show me more about this beautiful life,
I've always known. You've help me grow.
Spark my life with a light,
That I know wont dim.
We live our lives out loud.
Desire will win.
Live out loud.
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3. |
Sleep
03:55
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Fade out, die out.
Foster what's bound to happen.
Look hard, look close.
Reading between the black ink.
I'm wrong, I'm right
The fight inside me exists.
Wrapped up, minds closed
The further we are we will drift.
A dreamer's mind will never fade, it'll see the light of better days.
Hypochondri"addict" sleep deprived because it's all in your mind
A body laid at rest is just a feeble attempt
to lay out the demons that've been stored up inside.
Instead of counting sheep, you count the ticks on the clock
till the earth surrenders himself to bring the sunlight back into life,
and bury the rest in the ground.
Such an easy thing to some but to others it's a game
to see how long it takes till I start to break down and
realize that I'm starring at my mirrors pain.
To ease my thoughts I connect the dots
and tie the knot around my neck to seize the dark I've claimed so long
to bring me peace, and I just want sleep.
And I just want sleep.
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4. |
Back & Forth
03:12
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Back and forth between two cities I'm living,
To ease my heart and release my pity
But I do it all for you.
Searching high and low for a nine to five so
I don't feel like I'm wasting my time.
But I do it all for you.
Now where do we go, when all that we know
Are the simple things to survive.
So get up up up I've had enough of this life.
Get up up up this world has stripped you from pride.
I'm standing up to finally claim what's mine
And I'm not turning back.
Shake me down I've fallen short of the lies
And I've sold my soul so I could live the good life
But I do it all for you.
Break me down my body's torn
And I got a lot to say so I wait my turn
Driving back and forth in between these roads
And I could've sworn that I've been here before.
If time is of the essence and you count me counting my blessings
then you know that it's worth guessing, I'd do it again it'll just take a second.
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5. |
Convince Yourself
03:04
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I'm running out of options, there's not much that I can do.
My body's giving away to me and my mind is turning blue.
I stutter step towards the finish cause I'm not the only one.
Running in this foot race, I should show em how it's done.
I can't fight of these feelings that I have deep inside
But I'm tired of being the lonely one who will just run and hide
If I can talk the talk, then I should walk the walk.
Here comes the tidal wave of dignity rushing in from side to side.
Convince yourself to try, or this battle you're fighting will die.
Gravity crushing me, waiting in agony, apathy passes me, blasphemy's tragedy
actively panicking, passively thanking the ones that believed in me
living so radically, thankful for sanity and living in a world with less vanity.
Single handedly, I'll surface to the top
And break down the machine, keeping me from my own thoughts.
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6. |
Sidenote
04:14
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Sometimes the darkest days shed the most light,
It'll teach you how to fend and it'll teach you how to fight.
You wanna say sorry when you come to grips with yourself
But it's better to turn and walk away, shut your mouth
and let yourself be yourself.
The harder times will slowly fade with the sunlight of the day
so you close your eyes to see if this is what you really craved.
You'll kill what's left about you, but first you have to catch it.
Realization has a purpose, a motive and a checklist.
Somewhere between these pages and lines
Ill see what I've been lookin for.
An aswer only I can find, and answer only ive defined by the blood in my hands
and the tears in my eyes. Ill admit defeat you've taken my heart
and now you've taken my pride.
You stole it in the middle of the night, my mind comes next.
It's happened before but I'm addicted so I let it slide.
Am I an addict or is it that I panicked and said the first thing that came to my mind.
Subside but didn't die.
Hold on to me we're crashing down.
A fist full of hope won't catch us falling (down)
You start thinking to yourself am I alive or does it matter
as you wash out all the fabric of the clothes your mind is wearing.
Written on a sidenote is the question that I'm scared of
Are we the giants that we fear, or is the life that we're given to scale.
Too many hands with guns and fingers on triggers
Our barrels are pointed at our personal figures
Umbrellas are blossomed in sun not in rain
yet I'm scared to get hurt from the burn and the rays.
So flood my thoughts with dreams
Buried in water to deep to see
Oh no it's coming to my knees but I just close my eyes and breathe.
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7. |
Trapped
03:10
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I lie awake at night, dreaming about the day.
I toss and turn at night, as my mind starts to fray.
My walls are closing in, there's no escaping this.
There's just a wall, a floor. A bedroom with no door.
I slowly give away, and I slowly start to fade.
I'm scared I'll loose control and I'm scared that I'll walk away,
Cause I'm holding too tight but I am blinded from my selfish ways.
It's a battle I fight with myself, it's a war that I always loose
And I just think I care too much but I just cant seem to refuse.
I slowly give away, and I slowly start to fade.
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8. |
Psychological War
03:44
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Lately I've been wondering,
wondering into nothingness.
Searching for an answer,
an answer that won't come to me.
Is it time well spent or time I've wasted?
Looking for myself again, cause I've lost him.
Give me birth and give me death,
give me freedom or take my breath
I feel empowered once again,
seeing the sun that'll never set.
Behind these enemy's lines
I see truths disguised as lies
Soldiers stepping out of time
To uphold their country's spine.
Don't worry about me I keep it balled and caged inside
But the rage is flowing and I'm not sure how this thing will die.
When this life has got you down, stop to take a look around
At this life that you have crowned,
You're the king of what you've found.
Save your prayers, it's psychological war
Not even sin, can spare your scars.
The voices in my head wont quit.
I should care of how you think of me
It comes in waves and I cant swim
But the currents take ahold of me
I've been starred in the face by death himself
What do you listen for, when there's just silence.
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9. |
Visions
02:55
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I thought I saw you today,
but it was just my mind playing tricks on me.
Wishing, dreaming, craving,
the feeling of your lips.
Lying here all alone
This empty bed just isn't right.
Picturing your laugh, your beautiful smile,
another sleepless night.
My heart is always yours, don't throw that away.
Searching, hoping, aching for, these visions of you to stay.
Baby are you thinking of me?
Starring at the moon that we both see.
That's our common place,
you shine brighter than any star in space.
When we were together,
Gravity did not exist.
Now it's like I'm short of air,
Every breath is a risk.
Tell me that you love me,
and we'll go back to how it used to be.
Nothing lasts forever,
except for you and me.
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10. |
Seasons
04:03
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When the seasons change, so do I.
I grab on to what I can.
Colors change, and friendships die.
I thought were till the end.
I need something to sustain this void
or I will fall to my death.
You brought me back to life, then pulled the plug.
Lets take our final breaths.
Gravitate toward me, Ill be there to catch your fall.
I'm desperate on my knees, wont you change with me.
I cannot breathe without you next to me,
I cannot feel from what you've done to me.
When the seasons change, Ill come crashing down.
I no longer lay in my own bed,
These sheets cant keep me warm.
How you used to tuck inside my chest,
To keep us safe and calm.
She slipped right through my grips,
I let her get away.
I have your unread letters,
rotting beneath my head.
When the seasons change, I'll come crashing down.
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11. |
I'm Alive
04:14
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I retrace my steps, to see where I've went
and how I've got into this mess.
My hearts out of time, if I said I was fine
I'm just lyin.
So I push and I pull till my hearts strung on spool
And I cry.
But the wind blows my hair and reminds me that I'm alive.
I'm alive. I'm alive.
Don't look down don't look back
but I want to know that I still care.
So I fight off the urges, my necks starts to turn
and I stare.
At a vision of you, but you're not even there.
But the wind blows my hair and reminds me that I'm alive.
Now where do I go from here
I brush off the dust
and pick myself up
It's time to get on with my life.
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12. |
Valarie
03:09
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Do you have some time? Do you have the answers?
I need to get this off of my chest.
Before my world's in question, I beg for you to listen
cause my love is my only confession.
I stand here right before you spilling my guts and regressions
I'm sorry for what I've become.
I had a perfect vision, of who I was.
I forgot that all that mattered was what you saw in us.
Valarie, wont you please come
Valarie come home.
Summer heat and shades of blue,
sunshine beat shining straight through.
Fields of green, the untold truth
of what is here coming to you.
Loose the gold and drop the glue.
Every vowel worth I.E.U.
Crazy does as crazy do
Every day's like deja vu.
Eyes so deep that they hide your lies
and only I can see what defines your life.
You should hold your head with greater pride
because this world needs you right along it's side.
Wearing tearing of your younger years,
and it's brought you to a greater fear
so you run and hide and you disappear,
playing hide and seek with who you thought you were.
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13. |
Apathy
02:47
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This thing.
Whatever it might be.
This thing.
Is not working out for me.
Maybe I need to slow it down.
Maybe I need to stress my sounds.
Take this time to break down these walls
and take this time to see.
If I hide behind a mask all my life,
you won't have much to see.
These words.
Make me want to scream.
These words.
Expressed through hypocrisy.
Break free, I'm a beast inside a cage.
Break free, just a poet inside a page.
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Civil Youth Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Civil Youth is the energetic, alternative rock band exploding out of the East Coast with their roots planted in Philadelphia, PA. Between electronic synths, soaring Pop vocals and heavy guitars, Civil Youth posses the blend of modern rock with the animalistic and captivating ingenuity of synth-based alternative music ... more
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